you are the party that makes me feel my age

[beauofkilronan]

I had just finished my first full week of the academic term, so after spending a little over a year bumming it out in my parents' house, it feels weird getting excited for the weekend again. It's been pretty good, if a bit tiring, especially the commute. I don't mind it though; it's good to have places to be, to work towards something. I'm happy I'm at a point mentally where I can handle responsibilities again... without it being a burden this time!

I think that an important thing that you guys should know with regards to me being in college is that I'm in my first year... at 23. In the wise words of blink-182 (1999), "nobody likes you when you're 23, and you still act like you're in freshman year," except I actually am in my freshman year, haha. It's actually my third stint of university, and the reasons for my unorthodox and non-linear life path is a long story for another time. Hint: it involved a prescription for anti-depressants and benzodiazepines, so not the best part of my life to say the least. I'm determined to get my degree this time around though!

(I guess in other countries being a 23 year old in your first year of university isn't the most radical thing, and is in fact probably nothing of note at all. It kind of is over here though. I'm sick of people asking me why I'm still studying as if it's against the law or something, I just feel judged whether they actually are doing so or not. Such is the life of a pioneer?)

There was an orientation I had attended earlier this afternoon, organised by the upperclassmen I think, and it was just unnerving to be confronted with the fact that I might even be older than they are. Of course, unless if they somehow had access to my full birthday, the age difference isn't so apparent, and college is a different ballpark where stuff like that really doesn't matter anyway. I've heard it all: everyone has their own path, life is not a race, etc., etc. I went on my own, because my seatmate (who coincidentally is the same age as I am and has the exact same schedule) didn't end up going, so it was really awkward and isolating being seated alone next to people taking selfies with each other. It made me feel excluded, though maybe I'm just being dramatic. Making friends, especially IRL, has always been a source of difficulty for me, but I hope I make more in college as time goes on.

Right now though, I need to catch up on replies on here. Oh, and the assignments as well. :P And I really want to get my ear pierced.

Comments

[loganberrybunny]

Yep, here (UK) older students are very common. 40+ isn't at all unusual. In fact, there might even be the odd course where you'd be among the younger first-years!

Also, and I appreciate this isn't about your actual post: yay Pulp! Great band. :D

[beauofkilronan]

I've heard that! Plus, don't a lot of British students do gap years as well? I think it's better that it's normalised there, it would probably foster a culture where there's a lot less pressure on accomplishing certain things by a certain point in your life.

Oh, and of course - I love that band! Like A Friend is among my favourite Pulp tracks.

[loganberrybunny]

Yeah, gap years (aka "taking a year out") are pretty common here, although these days there's more of an expectation that the student will do something structured and planned, not just backpack through Europe or whatever.

[sushiflop]

For what it's worth I went back to college in my late 20s after working for a while and got a new degree in a totally new field! I took it very slow, community college, working part-time, until I transferred to a 4-year university and stopped working to focus on classes. I am now mid-30s and graduated spring 2023. My classmates were a lot younger than me but I made good friends regardless. My advice: show up and be present on campus. Just becoming a familiar face helped me make good connections and friends.

[beauofkilronan]

My advice: show up and be present on campus.

I'm keeping that in mind for sure. In a previous university attempt, I didn't care to socialise with my classmates, join organisations, etc., and combined with the fact that I did terribly at my course - I was predictably miserable. I actually enjoy what I'm studying this time around, however, so it shouldn't be too difficult to invest and get involved!

It's always reassuring to hear from others who went through similarly "unconventional" life paths. Congratulations on your graduation!

[einhornmaedchen]

Glad you enjoyed your first week, and I am sure once you've gotten more into the swing of things, it won't be quite as tiring anymore. And it's great that you're mentally in such a good place.

I get you on being an "older" freshman (not that 23 is "old" as such but you surely know what I mean)...people over here can be quite judgmental about that as well, though I feel like society is slowly getting more accepting about it.
I've heard it all: everyone has their own path, life is not a race, etc., etc.
Very true, but I also know that sometimes it still doesn't feel that way.

[beauofkilronan]

For sure, despite all the reassurance, it can sometimes feel like you're doing something wrong by deviating, by coming into your own a bit later.

I honestly was a little judgmental about that as well, way back when I was around 18. I think that's why it affected me so much when I found out I was going to take a bit longer to graduate — I thought it was the end of the world! So experiencing that sort of forced me to understand how it really isn't a big deal...